The Sickness Of Work

It’s sick. In a way, I know that the guy I like respects women who have their own things, who work hard, etc. And I am I guess you could say the modern woman and have a lot of other qualities that I know he likes. But at the same point in time, I work with him. And I find myself working harder, doing more, going beyond what I know I really should for myself or really want to, hoping that he will notice and actually figure out that I am all the things that he describes as the things he wants, that he actually goes after, etc. It’s pathetic really. And I don’t really like feeling this stupid. Granted, I’m making more money for it, which is a nice bonus. But I don’t like being this girl that does things so the guy will notice her. It makes me honestly look like a bloody moron. And the big reality is there is a certain surety that I am a moron.